I woke up today at three am, my phone was ringing out of place. My first thought, "Ian." It is Matt, trying hard to tell me something but I do not understand. I pull myself further from the dream I was having, the dream I was having about my best-friend. I am instantly impatient with what Matt is telling me, and so after another odd conversation about how worried he is about me, I tell him that we need to talk.

At 7 am I awake again and call Matt. 85 minutes and 14 seconds later I hang up. His choice is West Point, and while he refuses to see it, I know, and I let it go. I am less hurt than I thought I would be.

It is what you want that you can never have.