No Escape Panic Attack- Something I Just Can't Get Past

I figured the best way to state what I was feeling, is put up a little conversation my brother and I had tonight:


NatalieLRivera: so can I tell you something Dominic?
RockLobster3333: yes you can
NatalieLRivera: I'm really broken hearted, and have been for about a month now.
RockLobster3333: Why?
NatalieLRivera: Ian told me. He told me he was going to ask me over Christmas.
NatalieLRivera: It was an accident
NatalieLRivera: but he ruined the surprise.
NatalieLRivera: Then he didn't want me to tell ya'll because you guys were so excited about it.
RockLobster3333: oh man
NatalieLRivera: So the entire last month I've just been dealing with the fact that the best thing of my life was ruined for me.
RockLobster3333: what did he say that ruined it?
NatalieLRivera: "I already asked your dad for your hand."
NatalieLRivera: Then i heard the whole story
NatalieLRivera: about how he asked Dad when Dad was sharpening knives, etc.
RockLobster3333: oh man
NatalieLRivera: Yeah. . . .there's nothing that sucks worse.
RockLobster3333: The WHOLE thing?
NatalieLRivera: not how he was going to do it, just when
NatalieLRivera: which apparently is no longer the plan
NatalieLRivera: because now I know when
NatalieLRivera: it's still ruined for me then
NatalieLRivera: it's the only thing he had to get right
NatalieLRivera: and he blew it
RockLobster3333: ....oh man that blows
NatalieLRivera: yeah. . . which is why we can't tell Julia, for sure.
NatalieLRivera: but it looks like you guys already know how to keep a secret
RockLobster3333: ?
NatalieLRivera: even when I had that conversation w/ you about how Christmas wasn't going to be exciting because Dad wasn't asking her
NatalieLRivera: you didn't tell me. It didn't matter, cuz I already knew.
NatalieLRivera: He had even told my friends hereNatalieLRivera: and they didn't say anything. I was totally oblivious
RockLobster3333: I'm not a surprise ruiner kinda guy
NatalieLRivera: I just don't know what to do now
NatalieLRivera: It just sucks.
RockLobster3333: why does surprise matter?!?! He loves you and it doesn't matter how or when really, just that he loves you
NatalieLRivera: yeah I know
RockLobster3333: it's a good thing, but it's not necessary
NatalieLRivera: it is necessary
NatalieLRivera: because as my bestfriend
NatalieLRivera: he ruined it
NatalieLRivera: I would have NEVER done that to him
NatalieLRivera: imagine the BEST gift you could have possibly ever imagined getting in your entire life
NatalieLRivera: and then your bestfriend blowing the surprise
RockLobster3333: He didn't mean to!!
NatalieLRivera: when no one else even considered it
NatalieLRivera: Actually he did.
NatalieLRivera: He did it intentionally
RockLobster3333: WHY?!?!?
NatalieLRivera: because we got into a stupid spat over something small
NatalieLRivera: and he was afraid I would leave him
NatalieLRivera: so he told me that
NatalieLRivera: so that he could prove how much he loved me
RockLobster3333: god fucking damnit IAN!!!!!
RockLobster3333: AAAHHH
RockLobster3333: ::sigh::