Blogger for Word is Shit

Ok, so my first blog off of word was deleted. I am not sure how I feel about it as of yet, because I have not gotten it to work yet.

I sometimes feel as if I am a prophet. I know what others are going to say, I know what they are thinking, before they utter them aloud in a sad attempt to know themselves. I feel the walls shake with their tears, I can move the world, can change it, all in my restless sleep.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose scared me for two reasons. First, the jurors failed to take ANY notes during a trial in which a man was being tried for murder. That is a crime to itself in this world. Secondly, she was a hypersensitive, meaning she could see the future and thus was more prone to demons. Could this be true?

I have been sleeping more than ever and still I get no rest. I close my eyes and I see horrible things. The haunting of my past, dreams of a child forgotten. I see Matthew, and my heart breaks with love. Yet, I see Ian, and I am whole again. I see a future that is not to be, I see the future as it is. I see the dead. Sometimes I awake, wondering how I am not dead.

I do not want to sleep, do not want to know more, yet feel as if there is a dream I have continually forgotten that I must see again. It is an addiction I cannot break. Now as I sit here beside my bed, I wonder how long it is before I give in to my desires. Even when I do not need to sleep, I count down, measuring out my breaths until they are slow, meditating on the visions that are to come, and I am gone.

I sleep more than half my day away sometimes. I could rise and do other things, but I close my eyes again, and see the things I cannot with my eyes open.

I know it all, this prophesy inside. Yet being a prophet implies that I am some spokesperson, that I have a message, but I do not, I just know the truth. The horrible, awful, addictive, truth that my mind gives me in sleep.

Well, I am being hailed by sleep, but I am not tired. I will speak again when this madness ends.

"Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in." - The Postal Service